Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
By: Katie Christopher
It was a familiar story — something I’ve heard many times in different forms.
She was a born-again believer who had wholeheartedly embraced the truths of the gospel. She loved studying the work of Jesus and praising God for the incredible grace and love He had given to her. But for all her love of God’s grace, she felt trapped in the devastating cycle of trying to perform well enough in every area of her life. She tried to be a good wife, a good mom, a hardworking employee, all while managing her household and caring for her own spiritual life.
But in every area, she had a nagging sense that it was never enough. And when she received criticism on any of her work in these areas, it confirmed her worst fears: she was not acceptable to others. So she tried harder. She stayed up later, trying to get everything done for everyone. Exhausted, she would tell herself that she just needed to finish “three more things,” only to remember two more that she had forgotten. Somewhere along the way, she had internalized the belief that the only way to get the affection she so longed for was to perform well. And since her performance always seemed to be lacking, the love she craved always seemed hopelessly out of reach.
So she wondered: If God already loved and accepted her, how could she get out of this cycle of endless striving? Would she ever be able to truly rest in God’s love?
This kind of chasm between our deeply held beliefs and our lived experiences is common in the lives of many genuine believers, but it leaves us feeling let down and confused. Why, if we treasure the truths of the gospel, do our lives operate so differently? And how do we practically bridge the gap between the truths we treasure and our day-to-day way of operating?
Bridging the gap between our doctrine and our day-to-day is exactly the purpose of T7R. While T7R provides a more robust framework for discipleship, here I will focus on applying one of the most important principles: Think Truth.
Scripture makes it clear that the key to changing our lives is changing our thinking. Look at the connection between transformed thinking and transformed lives in Romans 12:2 (ESV):
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
In fact, this process is so important that Pastor Karl states in his book, The 7 Resolutions, that “resolving to think the truth is the single most important resolution of the seven” (1).
That’s why I love my job as a Christian counselor, because I get to be involved in people’s Romans 12:2 process of transforming their lives by transforming their thinking. I watch God tangibly bridge the gap between the Christian beliefs someone claims and the practical beliefs they are building their lives around.
There is a simple and memorable framework to help us first identify our thinking and then change it, which is a practical way of helping us obey 2 Corinthians 10:5, taking every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ (2):
Catch — The first step to changing our thinking is becoming aware of what we are thinking. Some of the most eye-opening times in my counseling sessions have been when people describe how they’ve been feeling and acting, and we pinpoint the thinking and beliefs that are causing those feelings and actions. People are often unaware of the fears or lies that are controlling their lives.
Check — Measure your thinking against the Word of God. For example, if it is rooted in fear, performance, or self-loathing, you can be sure that kind of thinking is not in alignment with the mind of Christ (2 Tim 1:7; Heb 10:14; Ps 139:13–14). Also, check the tone of your thoughts — even if we hear something negative about us that is true, Jesus speaks to us with love, hope, and encouragement, not criticism and condemnation (Heb 12:6–7; Rom 15:13; Rom 15:4; Rom 8:1–2).
Challenge — This is where you practically work to craft a new belief to replace the old faulty one, rooted in the truth of the gospel and God’s Word. To help yourself think more objectively, you might think about what you would say to a friend.
Change — Now you get to insert your new belief into your life in place of the old, false one, and start taking one small action step at a time to act on the new belief instead of the old one. For instance, if someone previously let people walk all over them because they didn’t think they had any value, as they started replacing that belief with the knowledge that they are treasured in Christ, they will slowly start putting up boundaries that do not allow others to treat them however they want.
Now, let’s see how this framework can be applied to the woman from the opening story. First, we can identify a core belief that is driving her perfectionistic lifestyle: “I must perform well to get the love I most deeply crave” (CATCH).
Then we can examine her belief in light of Scriptures like 1 John 4:10, which tells us God is the initiator of love; Romans 5:6–8, which shows us Jesus gave us His best love when we were at our worst; and John 15:9, which tells us we are loved as much as Jesus is. Her belief does not align with the constant, lavish, and free nature of God’s love (CHECK).
From there, we can create a new belief statement that she can integrate into her life based on those verses, such as: “God has already given me His full love, even when I was at my worst. Now I serve others because I am loved, not in order to be loved” (CHALLENGE).
Finally, behaviors that stem from her old belief — perfectionistic striving, overextending herself, lack of boundaries, feelings of condemnation — can be replaced with behaviors in line with the new belief. Now that she knows she is already fully loved, she can focus on what each task truly requires, rather than always trying to impress others. She can also say no when taking on additional responsibilities would interfere with loving God and others well. And she can rest in the amazing grace of Jesus when she fails, knowing that His love for her never changes (CHANGE).
This process of changing our thinking is usually gradual, but the effects are far-reaching. Many struggles in a person’s life often stem from just a few core unhealthy beliefs. Addressing those beliefs causes a ripple effect of transformation across their lives. That can be your story too, because true change is possible by the power of God’s Word.
Reflect
Take a moment to think about a recent situation when you felt stressed, discouraged, or condemned. Use these questions to apply God’s truth to that situation — and to help you transform your thinking in everyday life.
Catch:
What happened, and what thought or feeling came up?
Check:
How does this thought compare to Scripture?
Challenge:
What new biblical truth could replace it?
Change:
How could I respond differently if I lived out that truth?
Sources
Clauson, Karl. The 7 Resolutions. Moody Publishers, 2023, p. 79.
Clinton Jr., Tim. Cognitive Transformation 2.0. Lighthouse University, 2020. PDF.
Katie Christopher is a passionate disciple of Christ, the joyful wife of Ajit Christopher, and the proud mother of two playful, adventurous kids. She holds master’s degrees in Spiritual Formation and Discipleship and Clinical Mental Health from Moody Theological Seminary. Katie works as a bilingual (English and Spanish) counselor at Awakenings Counseling Center in Algonquin, IL, and currently serves as the children’s ministry director at the northwest campus of 180 Chicago Church. She enjoys traveling with her family, going head-to-head in board games, and indulging in her love for Indian food.